


Do Ya Thing

by mikasasha



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Shitty Jobs and Loser Dingus, F/F, fucking home depot, gorillaz bc gorillaz is awesome. yes, why home depot? i dont fucking know tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:57:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2775566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikasasha/pseuds/mikasasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there will be hesitation in approaching that huge, black pick-up truck in the Home Depot parking lot with DARE by Gorillaz on full blast. But not because of anything about the truck. The truck isn't frightening. And neither is the song. It's because of the intimidating girl inside, heavily tattooed and looking like she has a headache.</p><p>(permanent hiatus)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Speaking 101, Taught By Professor Sasha M. Braus

**Author's Note:**

> shitty and short but its mikasasha so ayy
> 
> writing irritated mikasa FUELS ME

  Let me just start off by saying that I love Gorillaz. Hearing DARE and the both familiar and welcomed voice of my beloved Noodle on the usually silent speakers was a godsend. I thought this was my boss' way of saying "Braus. I am proud." after all of my seven months of being treated like a piece of bread even though I was _probably_  the hardest working employee in the entire fucking store.

  As I stacked the stupid orange boxes full of different types of wood I couldn't really care less about on the highest possible shelf in my little crane-ish thing, I whistled the tune of the song and danced in time with the music. I spun a few times, threw some boxes in the air, maybe sang along a little bit in the most tone-deaf voice you could imagine, because fuck, I was stoked to hear this song in such an unexpected place. And, to quote Connie, I'm a bit of a "dork". Well, to  _correctly_   quote Connie, I'm a "huge dork nerd dingus who eats too much and drinks too much Starbucks and has too big of gages and ow why did you just hit me".

  I was thinking of how much I loved my boss now, after so many days of hating him. You know, until he radioed me on my walkie and told me to tell the driver of the black pick-up in the parking lot to turn down the music. According to him, the song was making his eardrums bleed.

  Things that whizzed through my mind other than prayers for this man to be fired by whoever the fuck his boss is were things like "tasteless bastard", "that man ruins everything fun", "figures he wouldn't turn on the speakers", "the person in the parking lot is fucking awesome".

  I sighed before snatching the walkie off one of my belt loops not covered by my large, uncomfortable, orange, paint-covered apron and rogering. Mentally attending my fun's funeral, I press the button to lower my little crane-ish thing and hop off. I still hummed the lyrics as I _very angrily_  danced out of my apron and hung it on the crane-ish thing I don't care enough to learn the name of.

  Upon exiting the parking lot, I could tell just who was playing the music. Hoo boy. I sighed, maybe whimpered a bit but you can't prove jack shit, and stood there for a few good solid seconds, just kind of staring at the spotless condition of the truck, the highly raised wheels, the fact it was actually vibrating from the sound, and the girl inside with a jillion tattoos and an angry look on her face. No doubt she'd fucking break my whole entire face if I said the wrong thing.

  But on the bright side, if I was gonna die, I would've wanted it to be then, within a general vicinity of my overwhelming amount of _two whole friends_  I met through our local Home Depot. So I breathed in deeply and took large strides to the truck.

  Probably the most baffling of everything about this situation was that the windows were rolled up. They were rolled up and it was hurting my ears just being right outside of the truck. God have mercy.

  I stared at the girl from the passenger side window, her eyes closed and hands behind her head covered in silky black hair, Japanese writing and traditional Japanese drawings going up and down her arms and earlobes stretched slightly less than mine. Her neck was covered by a beautiful red scarf, her torso was covered by a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt that had the sleeves ripped off, her waist was covered with black shorts.

  She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever fucking seen.

  Saving my ears from exploding, I clenched my fist and tapped lightly on the window.

  Her eyes ripped open, yet she didn't look surprised. Only angry.

  She moved her gaze to me, who was awkwardly standing outside of her car with no doubt the stupidest look on my face ever in history. She moved her left hand from behind her head to press the volume button, effectively muting the music. My eardrums were spared that day. Using the same hand, she rolled down the window I was standing in front of. Honestly, you could probably hear my sweat.

"May I help you?" She asked in the silkiest voice I'd ever had the pleasure of hearing.

  I paused, staring at her in utter awe. Only realizing her face became a scowl got me talking.

"Yeah! Yeah, um, yeah, sorry. Just, um, y'know. Music. It's. Yep, it's music, it's a thing. It's a thing that needs to, um, stop? Wait, no, um..."

  Speaking 101, taught by professor Sasha M. Braus.

"Do you not like my music?" The girl sounded offended.

"N- No! No, of course not! Wait, I mean- of course I _do_! I love Gorillaz, are you kidding me? In fact, DARE's one of my favorite songs! Noodle's, like, my favorite band member. I mean, 2D is cool and everything, and Murdoc is Murdoc, and Russel is pretty chill, but Noodle's a robot and adorable. But even though I love her and everything, my favorite song is probably Do Ya Thing, the one with Andre 3000 in it, y'know, the one that's like 'I'm a pale imitator of a boy in the sk'-"

"I know the song." She was so short-tempered and so _angry_  and _cold_.

"Oh. Psh, of course you do! Well, um, yeah. That one's my favorite. Do you have a favorite song? Possibly favorite member?"

"Are you hitting on me?"

"What?!" My face felt hot immediately, and I couldn't tell if she was amused with this or not but she looked like she was feeling something because of my reaction. " Of course not! No, no- that would be weird! No! No, I'm- I'm not! I am not hitting on you!" My stuttering was shattering me. I felt like a mess. Well, I mean, I am and was a mess, but that's not what I meant.

"Shame." She whispered to herself, just barely loud enough to hear. My face grew hotter. "Then why are you bothering me?"

"Ah- um- well, my boss told me to tell you to keep the music down." She scoffed.

"Tell your boss I told you to tell him to suck a dick."

  I blanched, then the terror hit me. "Miss, I don't think- I can't-"

"Well you will. I'm not turning down the music because I have a headache, and this is how I fix it. My brother made me drive him here to build his stupid deck, it won't take more than thirty minutes for him to finish getting all of the things he needs. So at most, thirty more minutes of this. And I'm gone. Now leave, please."

"Wait, miss, please, I could get fired-"

"See, I don't really care-"

"Miss please-"

"No."

"Mikasa, what the hell are you doing to this poor girl?" A voice sounded behind me, and of course I just screech at the sound.

  I turned wildly to the voice, and laid eyes on a messy-haired brunet with sea-colored eyes and a home depot cart full of wooden planks and a bunch of tools I wouldn't really know how to use. He was wearing skinny jeans and a Panic! at the Disco shirt like a gosh darn scene kid. On his feet were ratty knock-off converse, which reminded me of my own.

"Oh, Eren, you're done early. Did they have everything?" The girl behind me asked, seeming to have transformed into a being much kinder than the one I'd just been talking to.

"Definitely." He pushed his cart to the bed of the truck, where he began putting everything away. "Though we're gonna have to stop at Mina's nursery for the flowers."

"We _have_  to." The girl said, and the kind being had fled from her.

" _Mikasa_." Eren shoved some more of the wood in, then stopped. "Mina and I aren't dating anymore. It's not even a big deal that she broke up with me. You need to let it go, man." He proceeded to load in the last of the wood and tools.

"She made you sad, and I don't appreciate it."

"Well, she's the only one I know with blue roses, so we gotta go." He closed the bed of the truck and gave the cart a push in the general vicinity of the cart return.

"Know that I won't be happy about it."

Eren approached me, who was standing in front of the passenger door with a dumbfounded look like a dingus. "Pardon moi, miss."

My face turned redder. "Right! Sorry!"

  I stumbled awkwardly out of his way to watch him and his super sick septum piercing climb into the passenger side. After Mikasa had rolled down the other window, she pressed the volume button and resumed playing one of the greatest songs to exist. I stared in awe at Mikasa once more as she reversed the car and turned. I watched them leave, and as they did so, the song changed to Do Ya Thing and a thumbs up weaseled its way out of the driver's window.

 I kept thinking for the rest of my shift how much of a cool cat Mikasa would be when she didn't have a headache and how I should get a septum piercing.


	2. Even Her Name Made Me Giddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rrrrrrrrrrrrrr this is really short and mostly dialogue but oh well

"Dude, I am telling you, she was bad ass." I said to Connie next to me and Jean next to him, controllers in hand.

"I'm not biting it. I mean, sure-" Connie shot Jean, eliciting an angered shriek from him. "I heard Gorillaz playing too, but I doubt someone cool could've been playing it. Hell, Sash, it's _Gorillaz_ -"

  I first elbowed him in his side, then shot his character. The resounding "Headshot!" with Connie's groan of pain in the background was the most satisfying thing I'd ever heard in my entire life. It is a rightful punishment for someone who says something like that about Gorillaz.

"You know, I knew this one girl in sophomore year who was fuckin' crazy over Gorillaz." Jean said.

Connie snickered and looked over at Jean with the smuggest look his dumb, goofy face could muster. "I guess you could say she was _bananas_  ove-" I hit him over the head.

"Yeah, she was so fuckin' cool. Had a crush on her for like three years."

"I think I remember that, actually." Connie said, tumbling off of the couch and landing on the floor with his character forgotten and being shot repeatedly by Jean and I. "I never met her, but you talked about her about her _nonstop_. Didn't her brother wanna, like, kill you though?"

Jean snorted angrily. "The feeling was mutual."

"You sound so bitter." I looked over at him, relaxing my hands on my controller for a bit.

"I am. That guy was the _worst_. The cockiest piece of shit I ever met in my life."

"Finally found someone that beat you, huh?" I laughed at my own joke, then threw my controller at Connie just to see what he would do. He didn't do anything.

"Wow, you're so funny, I think I'm gonna die from laughing. Oh, God, my sides." Jean grumbled, dropping his controller on the floor.

"I think I'm gonna die from _boredom_." Connie rolled over a couple times on the floor.

"Let Jean finish his story time." I kicked Connie lightly a couple times, just to get a reaction, but he didn't really react. He was just kinda like a rock.

"Thank you, Sasha." Jean said as he flopped backward to sprawl out on the back of the couch. "She never talked to me, and she didn't like me much-"

"Yeah, who does?" Connie snickered. Jean responded with heeling his thigh.

"- but I liked her a lot. Poor Marco had to listen to me ramble on and on about her. But she sure was decent looking."

"Hey now Jean, Marco sure wouldn't like you getting your dick wet for her again." Connie began poking at Jean's couch.

"Connie, shut up, oh my God." Jean kicked Connie. "Anyway, she always listened to Gorillaz. Always. I remember she really liked Noodle. Went for Noodle the first Halloween I knew her. Pulled it off well- she knew the Japanese part in Suzuki Method and everything. It was actually pretty sick. Her name was Mikasa."

  It didn't really sink in. We were all pretty out of it. But after a couple seconds I processed the fact Jean was actually talking, I realized he'd said Mikasa, and every siren in my head blared.

  My eyes widened and I gasped stupidly. I turned my entire body to face Jean and stared at him for a bit. He stared back, but certainly not as excited as I was.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He didn't look very excited at all.

"Mikasa! That it! That the name!" I couldn't really gather a sentence, kinda just bounce up and down. Even her name made me giddy.

"Yep, good job, Sasha. 'That it. That the name.'" Jean rolled his eyes and looked at Connie disinterestedly, who was making quiet fart sounds with his mouth.

" _No_ , you dingus! I mean, _yeah_ , that's what I _said_ , but that's the girl I was talking about! The girl in the parking lot was named Mikasa!"

Jean was quiet for a second, but the whistled. "Small world."

"Goddamn, no wonder you had a crush on her. She is hot as shit."

"Sounds like there's two people gettin' their dicks wet for parking lot girl." Connie laughed. We both told him to shut up.

"I think if I try hard enough and talk to some old pals I can make it so you and Mikasa talk again. This time more pleasantly than you described your previous conversation to be, hopefully."

"Dude, don't you fuck with me." I warned him, spirits high. "Don't you fuck with me on this, man."

"I'm not fuckin' with you." He put his hands up in surrender.

"Holy _shit_ , man! I could fuckin' hug you right now!"

"Don't- your hippo body will crush the noodle." Connie snickered from the floor.

"Shut up, chrome head!" I yelled at him, and shortly after heard his snickers dissolve.

"Yeah, pretty sure I still have Armin's number somewhere." Jean said.

"Wasn't that that cute guy with the bowl cut?" Connie started tugging at my sock like a goddamn two-year-old.

"Yes, you dingus."

"I remember him! We crashed that one frat party junior year and him and Mikasa and Eren were there and while you were chatting up Mikasa I made out with Armin in the bathroom."

"Gross." He snorted.

"Yeah, it kinda was, considering I think there was a couple having sex in the shower and there was someone shitting on the toilet."

"And they say romance is dead." I yanked away my feet from Connie.

"Before I throw up," Jean picked up his controller again and started running his character around. "I'll call Armin later and see if he can get something together so you can talk to Mikasa."

"You're the _best_!" I cried, thinking of how beautiful that girl was.

  Jean responded by shooting my character.

  Wow, Mikasa sure was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo what it is
> 
> second chapter up and it hasnt even been a week can i get an applause please
> 
> yes i know it sucks applaud me anyway
> 
> here the abridged version: sasha tell jean and connie about thing, find out jean knows mikasa. jean says he can meet them up if she really wants. sasha explodes


	3. And She Winked At Me. Stared Me Right in the Eye and Winked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is it so short? idk. probably bc im a mess :\ a HOT mess lmao ;\

"So long, Danny." I said to the Starbucks cashier as I struggled to hold my drink.

He sighed. "See you tomorrow, Sasha."

"You know it."

 My white girl drink in one hand and a bag full of coffee cups and beans in the other, I shoved the shop door open and stumbled out into the crisp, terribly _fresh_  air of autumn. Ah, yes, the smell of plants dying.

 I glanced down at the bag full of Starbucks goods, very satisfied with what I'd bought. They weren't for _me_ , of course. They were for the one person I knew hated receiving them more than life. Ymir.

 Ymir's birthday is in the smack-dab middle of fall, and ever since I met her I've gotten her nothing but a bag of Starbucks trinkets with a card in it that says "Birth you" in my godawful handwriting. Every year she's made it very clear that she hates my gift the most out of every single one she gets, and every year I make sure to get her the same exact thing. She sells it the day after she gets it. It's a good system.

 I looked back up and saw my shitty car with a rainbow bumper sticker and a license plate that says 'u go ho' (a gift from Connie two years back) next to the spotless black truck that was causing me an equal amount of fear as last time I saw it. I sighed, and walked closer, just wanting to go home and write my 'Birth you' card, only to realize the truck was parked slightly in front of my car, and there was no way I'd be able to leave without scratching that truck. That truck would have to leave first. I would have to wait for Mikasa to come back to her truck and leave before I could even think of leaving.

 I groaned loud enough for Danny to hear.

 I stomped over to my trash car and took a sip of my drink before placing my cup on top of it. My hand caught my car key from my back pocket , and I shoved it into the lock of my trunk before throwing it open and tossing my bag of Starbucks goodies into it with a frustrated face.

 And after, I just drank my dumb Pumpkin Spice Latte, leaning on my dumb car that badly needed a wash and waiting for that dumb super cute girl. 

* * *

 

"Are you following me now?" I heard a smooth voice ask.

 I screeched, fumbling with my almost gone Latte I was staring at and dropping it on the ground. I sheepishly looked up and saw that gorgeous woman. Holding hands with another woman- a short blonde with a hooked nose.

 I flitted my eyes between the two, stuttering my vision to their hands and back to their faces. They were dating. They were a couple. Gosh _darn_  the fucking hell out of all of it, she was taken.

 A wave of something washed over me- I don't really know how to describe it- a wave of, what, disappointment? Couldn't be- I didn't have any expectations of her. Betrayal? Why? I'd met her once two days before, in what possible way could she betray me?

 Just a wave of plain _negativity_  overtook me as I looked at her and her girlfriend. It took me a while to respond.

"N- No! No, no, I- it- see, your truck- it's um, in front of my car- I- I won't be able to get out without scratching your truck." I stuttered, unable to look away from her pretty gray eyes with a rapid heartbeat and pink cheeks.

 She narrowed her eyes, gliding her gaze up and down my body, and I _saw_  the places it lingered, _I did_ , and they weren't very decent. She looked back at my reddening face and just _stared_ for a while before chuckling.

"Guess that's what I get for letting you drive, Annie." She said to the short girl next to her, letting go of her hand to reach for her keys.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with my driving." The woman said in an equally smooth voice, but somehow far less appealing than Mikasa's.

Mikasa stared at my car, her eyes snagging on the bumper sticker and/or my ridiculous license place before a slight, humored smile graced itself onto her flawless face. "I don't think so either." She started towards the driver's side of the truck. "I think you're just too short."

I heard the short one snicker so softly I almost didn't catch it. "I think you're a bitch." She heaved herself into the passenger side.

 Mikasa scoffed and disappeared in her truck. She rolled down the windows and made a show of turning on her radio to adjust her CD player packed with six different CDs just to put on Do Ya Thing.

"Nice seeing you again."

 And she _winked_  at me. Stared me right in the eye and winked.

That was the second time she left in her truck with me in the background with a dumbfounded and heavily blushing face. I had to take a breather against the side of my car before I drove home and screamed into my pillow for no other reason than just to express my strong feeling of 'holy shit'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to start writing longer chapters smh
> 
> i need to start writing BETTER smh kuma smh
> 
> heres the chapter summary: sasha in public where she does not belong. exits to see truck parked too close to her car for her to be able to leave the spot without scratching truck. realizes mikasa owns that truck. begins to breathe heavily in the not good way bc nervous. mikasa comes out with annie. sasha notices they r date. sasha gets sad but is also like 'goddamn'
> 
> also did u know that the end notes from the first chapter stick throughout the whole story?????? thats weird why does it do that


	4. I'm Not Seeing the Reason I Need to Butter My Pooper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //breathes

"Drop your pants and butter your pooper, Braus." Is not what I expected to first hear when I opened the door to let Jean and Connie in.

 I'll be real, I almost slammed the door in their fucking faces. I _wanted_  to, that's for sure. I looked at them with a look that could kill, and we stood there for a while. I braced my side on the door frame and crossed my arms.

Jean put his hands on his hips and looked upwards. "Alright, I'll agree, not my best opening line." More silence. " _At all._ " More silence. "Can I come in? Jesus fuck, you wanna hear what I have to say."

I pushed myself off of the frame and made a move to sit on the couch. "God, if you ever say something like that again, I'll punch you in the face."

"Okay, yeah, but get this." He made a quick show of sitting on the couch next to me while Connie closed the front door. "See, you know Ymir?"

"No. No I do not know Ymir. I've never met Ymir in my life. I have no idea who Ymir is. You most definitely never introduced her to me four years ago."

"Yeah, anyway, she's having a birthday party."

My face probably contorted funnily. "What? Why? She's turning, like, thirty." I almost laughed at Connie's soft 'don't let her know that', but I didn't plan on giving him the satisfaction of me laughing at his jokes any time soon. "And she never has a party. What makes this time different?"

"Her girlfriend wants to throw her one."

"Ymir has a girlfriend?"

"Surprisingly."

"Since when? What ancient year was it fated for that mess to have a girlfriend?"

"Sasha, how the fuck would I know? I'm not always up-to-date with my boyfriend's cousin."

"Cousin-in-law." Connie snickered from my lap, which he had placed himself in and hadn't moved like an infection. I whacked him over the head and he responded with sneezing on my leg. I hit him again.

"Well, despite this groundbreaking news of Ymir being able to catch a date- a date that actually wants to do things for her, may that poor woman one day open her eyes- I'm not seeing the reason I need to butter my pooper."

"Oh, this party is a blessing for you, Braus."

"I don't know if I'm going yet, horse face, don't get your hopes up."

"You're going." That line made me want to claw off Jean's snarky mouth.

"You don't tell me what to do." I glared daggers at him.

"Don't be stupid, Sash, I'm not ordering you around, I know you can beat the shit out of me. I'm just telling you what's gonna happen."

I slapped Connie's head for good measure. "Damn right I can beat the shit out of you! Now what makes you so sure I'm going to this loser fest anyway?"

"Ymir's girlfriend's name is Christa. She's around Ymir's age, but is friends with a lot of people our age. She has these two friends named Reiner and Bertholdt, these two German guys that are fucking each other, and they're friends with an incredibly short blonde bodybuilder named Annie." _That_  sounded familiar. "So have it, Annie's girlfriend is Mikasa Ackerman, the lady you got your goggles on."

I stared at him with an open mouth for a while, registering the names I'd have to remember and the long list of people connecting me to Mikasa (I was friends with Jean who was dating Marco whose cousin was Ymir who was dating Christa who was friends with Reiner and Bertholdt who were friends with Annie who was dating Mikasa).

"You just need to get past that really creepy blonde toddler." Connie said, and I saw he was on Instagram on his phone. I slapped it out of his hand onto the couch and received a high pitched whine.

"Okay, you're right, I'm going."

"I _told_  you." Jean said proudly.

"But doesn't that mean her brother's gonna go too?" Connie asked, and just dropped his phone on the floor after picking it up off of the couch.

Jean sighed. "Yeah, Eren's probably going."

Connie laughed stupidly. "Sash, you ever seen Jean get the fuck beat outta him?"

"I _will_." I laughed just as stupidly.

 We laughed to each other until Jean started kicking us.

"Stop bullying me." He grumbled.

"I think you're just blowing this out of proportion." Jean's drama queen tendency had a way of blocking reality for him. He seemed to think everyone hated him. A couple weeks before, he thought Marco was just dating him as a joke. They'd been dating for three years. "I met him when I first met Mikasa, he was a landslide nicer than she was. I'm sure you guys just fought in high school because you were just a huge, no homo testosterone lump. You've settled down and realized your incredible gayness, and I'm sure he totally doesn't hate you anymore. He seems like a super cool guy."

"No, he's a dick." Connie said, having picked up his phone.

"Are you speaking when Dictator Braus hasn't ordered?" Jean raised an eyebrow at Connie.

"Shut up, stallion, I'm proving your point." He was still on Instagram, the dumb fuck. "The guy was a _huge_  jerkoff in high school. Beating the shit out of Jean sure was funny, I'll give him that, but he'd totally blow off the only two people that liked him to hang out with kids that wouldn't spare him a glance. Honestly, I think he just kicked Jean's ass because those guys were telling him to."

Jean grunted in acknowledgement. "What, Levi and co.?"

 I, of course, had no idea what they were talking about. After high school, I found the local college and moved here from my gross, tiny town in Alabama. Moving from Alabama to SoCal was a bit rough, because I had to adapt to the fact people didn't want to kill you if you fucked a girl (which I did plenty after finding out I could) because they simply didn't give a fuck about anything you did. And some people will comment on my lilt, and they all just laugh and say 'haha are you from Texas' and then just walk away and laugh at Texans and by some people I mean Connie and Jean when I first met them.

"Yeah, them. He'd constantly throw around that gross f-word but I'm, like, eighty percent sure he was brushing off Mikasa and Armin to go fuck the short one. And I'm _ninety_  percent sure the short one would brush _him_ off normally because, let's be real- high school, no one wanted to talk to Eren except bad ass and bowl cut." Connie locked his phone. "He might be cool now, though, who knows."

I whistled. "Only 'till we see him again, I guess."

"Don't whistle you sound like a redneck." Connie snickered.

 God, he _always_  tried to call me a redneck because of my accent.

"I've fucked more girls than you can count on your hands and feet."

"Well, I'll shut up now." Connie started cracking his fingers.

 It wasn't long until we brought out the controllers, and all of us sucked at Call of Duty together like a family. After finishing an ordered pizza and using the piss palace, the two left and I was left with a mess to clean. But instead when they left, I screamed happily.

 I ran into my room, thinking of how to prepare for the party. I didn't know when it was, sure, but I also didn't know what I would wear, and that might have taken months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i like to imagine connie laughs stupidly like tyler the creator
> 
> did u know ppl in socal make fun of texans bc they do
> 
> anyway thats why sasha doesnt know anyone
> 
> also i REALLY wish those first chapter end notes would go away
> 
> heres the summary for all the people who re too lazy to read my tiny tiny chapters: sasha gets invited to ymir party party from jean who got invited from marco who got invited from step sister ymir. finds out ymirs new gf is christa who is gonna invite reiner and bertl who r close friends with annie who is dating mikasa hello. spends all night deciding what wear bc shes a loser


	5. But It's Nice To Know That That Rainbow Bumper Sticker Wasn't Lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey my computer broke, this chapter is shit, and its been five months. hows it hangin

   Everyone was already piss drunk when I got there. I was running late, I wasn't able to get there until almost eleven at night. Ymir's house was booming with music and there was a ton of laughing outside and inside.

   I opted on leaving my Starbucks goodies in the car- chances were Ymir was wasted.

   The second I walked in the door, I smelled the shitty beer. Shitty beer was Ymir's forté. It was the worst thing ever- some off brand stuff she'd get for cheapest at a liquor store. No matter how much she insisted it was the best thing since sliced bread (when we all knew she just bought it because of the price), I couldn't get more than a sip of the shit down me.

"Sash!" Someone screamed from across the room; someone that sounded remarkably like Connie.

   He burst through the crowd of people (surprisingly a lot- I didn't really think Ymir had that many friends), holding on to Jean who was holding on to Marco. The guy could hardly stand straight.

"Sasha!" He stretched out the last 'a' sound. "You made it, oh em eff."

I laughed. "You're so drunk."

" _Fuck_  yes I am. Jean and Marco are too. Look at them!"

I looked behind him to Jean and Marco, but immediately looked away because of what their faces were doing to each other. "No thanks, Connie, I don't swing that way."

He looked confused. "What?" He turned around and groaned. He threw his hands at their shoulders, making them pull away and look at him. "Take it somewhere else!"

"You're the one who dragged us over here!" Jean yelled with a slur and a blush.

"Because Sasha's here, donger!" He almost fell over. "If I'd known you would'a been slobbering all over Marco I would'a put you in the bathroom."

Marco laughed drunkenly, but Jean just glared at him. "No way! I don't want you and Armin making out in the same room as me and Marco getting it on!" Marco laughed some more, even though sober Marco would've started scolding Jean.

Connie perked up. "Armin!" He whipped his head around in different directions, searching the crowd. "Where is that sexy piece of ass?"

   I sighed and smiled at them, and began walking to the kitchen- where most sober people huddled.

"Sasha, where are you going?" Connie yelled. I feel like he tried to follow me, but when I looked back, he was face down on the floor.

"I'm gonna go get a water."

"Oh, alright. I'm gonna throw up." He said to the floor.

   I didn't stick around to see him fulfill the promise. Halfway to the kitchen, however, I heard the loud chorus of 'oh's to signal that he did.

   I spotted the fridge and almost ran towards it. I wondered if Ymir had leftovers of that one wing place she loved, or if she had any food in general. Plus the water thing wasn't a complete lie.

   But before I could even tough the handle, a hand slammed onto my shoulder, which elicited a scream from me. I whipped around to place my eyes on a tall, tan, and very drunk person.

"Oh." I breathed, calming down. "Hey Ymir."

"Starbucks girl!" She hiccuped. "Look at the girl I'm fucking."

I gave her a troubled look before spotting a short girl with a sober appearance and pretty blonde hair. Her eyes were huge and blue, and she looked near like a barbie doll.

"Hello." She said in a sugary voice and gave a little wave.

" _That's_ your girlfriend, Ymir?" I looked at Ymir, who was wearing a proud smile.

"Feast your eyes, Braus!" Her girlfriend giggled. I was quiet for a while.

"But _why_?" I asked the blonde with a sincere face. I was actually genuinely confused. Why would someone that pretty looking date a dirty burp machine like Ymir?

"Watch it, Braus!" Ymir boomed, putting her hand on her hip.

The girlfriend, however, just giggled again. "To tell you the truth?" She leaned in close. "I've never met anyone better in bed."

I scrunched my face together. " _Ew_! Ah, come on, man!" The girlfriend found my nausea hilarious, but I actually felt sick at the thought of Ymir naked, let alone getting it on with someone.

"I'm Historia, but you can just call me Christa." The girlfriend said with an outstretched hand.

"No way! Sorry, honey, but I don't know where that hand's been!"

"Would you like to know?" She giggled.

" _I need a drink_!" I screamed, and just like that Connie was right next to me with a shitty beer in his hand and a fresh looking stain on his shirt.

* * *

 

   When I said I couldn't get over a sip of Ymir's gerbil piss down my throat? I wasn't lying. It'd been almost an hour since I'd received personal mental trauma in the form of imagining Ymir without clothes, and my Solo cup full of poison was warm, Connie was spewing some drunken bullshit I sometimes found incredibly difficult to decipher, and Jean and Marco were making me want to gag. The thought about leaving was very prominent in my mind until I heard the sound of the front door open, and Mikasa walked in. She walked in with others, of course- Eren, Annie, and, she was guessing, Armin- but Mikasa was the most  _important_ one there. To me.

   The second Mikasa walked in, she looked just as pissed as when I first met her. Perhaps she didn't really like loud noises unless it was Gorillaz. 

   Annie walked away from the three immediately, most likely looking for her two friends with really weird names I couldn't remember. Armin and Eren seemed to just be conversing with each other, leaving Mikasa to look around with an irritated look on her face. Irritated until her eyes landed on me. Once our eyes looked at each other, her face went from annoyed to shocked, then to what seemed almost like glee. A very monotone, dulled, muted emotion of glee.

   Seeing her walk towards me was a scary sight. I'll admit, she had a very nice gait- full of confidence and strength (but maybe that's just me exaggerating- because, you know, Mikasa), but it's what made her walking towards me so intimidating. She was at least a couple inches taller than me, and definitely more muscular than my chubby self- everything about her was terrifying. I loved it.

"Hey, Home Depot." She said in that (really pretty really silky wonderfully smooth) voice I'd only heard a few times before.

I chuckled nervously. "Home Depot? Is that my new name?"

"Only because I don't know your old one."

That shocked me for a moment before I realized; that's correct, we hadn't even exchanged names. I shoved out my hand with pink cheeks. "I'm Sasha."

She took my hand in hers. "Mikasa." She gave my hand a shake, then moved it to my cup of warm disgust to take a swig. I was surprised, to say the least. Who the hell takes a drink out of a stranger's cup?

Immediately after she sipped it, she grimaced. "You can always rely on Ymir to get the worst beer she can find."

I floundered slightly for a response before laughing nervously again. "That's what I've been trying to tell ev-"

"Sasha! Are you actually talking to Mikasa?" Connie slurred, seeming to have realized I wasn't paying attention to whatever he was saying. "Wow, I'm surprised your panties are still on!" My eyes widened and I felt my cheeks get hotter.

"Connie!" I pushed him.

"Oh, hey Connie." Mikasa said, seemingly disinterested in Connie's remark. "Haven't seen you for a time."

"Yeah, been a while! Jean will be excited to see you!" Connie called for Jean across the room over the buzz of music and conversation, who didn't move from Marco's face. Connie let out an annoyed growl. "Jean! Mikasa's here, come say hi!"

"I don't wanna! I already got someone to kiss!" He yelled against Marco's lips. Marco either didn't understand or care about what Jean said, because Marco just put his hands on the back of Jeans neck to kiss him harder.

"Gross." I mumbled. I noticed Mikasa smiled at that.

"Whatever! _I'm_ here, so that's what's important." Connie hiccuped. "God, Mikasa- Sash will not shut _up_ about you! I'm trying to beat Jean in Call of Duty and it's all 'blah blah Gorillaz blah blah pretty truck girl'. It totally throws me off track, because whenever I think about _you_ I think about  _Armin_ \- holy shit, is Armin with you? Okay bye!"

   I watched him stumble away excitedly with a huge blush on my face. I looked over to Mikasa, apology ready, before I saw her smirk.

"Pretty truck girl?" She asked.

   I opened my mouth to say something, but was too terrified to let any sound out. My mouth closed and opened, and I floundered like a fish before I heard her laugh.

"Don't be so flustered. I think you're pretty too."

   My cheeks were bright, my mind was whirring, and I found it hard to speak. And with a smile she handed me back my cup.

"Parties aren't very appealing, so I think I'm going to leave. But it's nice to know that that rainbow bumper sticker wasn't lying."

   I watched her walk away with that incredible walk, and I found it impossible to think any one thought for too long. So after she left the house, I tipped back the rest of my cup, trying to focus on how bad it tasted rather than how Mikasa's mouth was on it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey do u wanna know it was gonna go heres the summary yeah
> 
> party. jean and marco probably fuck or smth but wheres the surprise. connie gets drunk and tells mika that sha has a crush on her. sha flips her fucking shit. bonus points if not too lazy to put eren in there somewhere
> 
> when tf did i start calling sasha 'sha'

**Author's Note:**

> first multiple chapter on ao3................................. nice
> 
> ill try to update like. every week ish. but knowing me ill update like one million times and then none and then once and then five million times. so idk i guess it will be a surprise to all of us
> 
> this is gonna be like eight chapters probably
> 
> and if u dont feel like reading it ill just put a summary of the chapter in the end notes bc i worte them when i was planning out the story (bc i need to otherwise i will never finish this) and i think theyre fucking funny even though theyre not
> 
> summary:  
> meeting. goes roughly. sasha flustered and nervous like a fucking dingus
> 
> the other ones r funnier i promise
> 
> my tumblr is memekasasha and my domain is http://mikasasha.god.jp/ have fun ya animals


End file.
